I Will Never Not Ever Eat a Tomato

 By Lauren Child

I was underwhelmed by this one.  It's won awards and has its own show and everything.  It's one of those 'teach your kids to eat' books.  I guess it's better than most.

 The art is a mixture of simple line drawings and collage.  It's okay, but it's a pretty dated look.

The premise is an older brother making up names and origins for ordinary food items in order to make them interesting and appealing to his younger sister.  The ideas are okay.  The behaviour is mostly plausible.

Of course the little girl eats every single thing.

I'm just really bored by this type of book at this point.  There are so many of these.

I don't think I'll bother with any of the other books in the series.

Hank and Fergus

 By Susin Nielsen-Fernlund nd Louise-Andrée Laliberté

Brutal.  Absolutely brutally bad.

Hank is a kid with a birthmark on his face who has an imaginary dog friend named Fergus.  It's made obvious in the beginning that he has this dog friend because he can't make real friends.  Probably because he gets teased about his birthmark and is embarrassed and then acts out.

 So a new kid moves in next door and tries to be friends with him and Hank gets all defensive and is horrible and mean to him.  So they're both horrible and mean to each other.  Which is usually how these things go down.

Then they make up and give each other presents in the most formulaic and artificial turnaround you could imagine.  See, making friends isn't that hard.  You just aren't trying!
No, I get it.  The moral of the story, that they explain in the last few sentences, is that having a birthmark on your face isn't so bad.  In fact, everyone has something weird going on.  Look at this kid; he's got a scar on his stomach!

This book won the Mr. Christie book award.

Do Not Open

 By Brinton Turkle

This book was so fantastic.  And we utterly destroyed it with a cup of tea.  Tragedy.

It's about a woman who lives alone by the beach with a cat and collects odds and ends

 The pictures are fantastic.  I yearn for a house decorated like hers.  Half of the book is just describing their lazy lifestyle, retired in a one bedroom cabin by the ocean listening to storms together.

The last few pages has them discovering a bottle with a monster inside.  The woman is not in the least bit afraid and defeats it easily.  She's granted a wish as a reward.

The pictures here are a little over the top and probably not appropriate for an anxious younger child, but the whole book is about conquering your fears, so it's a good book for anxious kids, too.

My severely anxious child loved this book.  But she's starting to develop an interest in scary things.

When Elephant Met Giraffe

 By Paul Gude

I was pretty unimpressed by this book.  It's about an elephant who meets a mute giraffe and becomes friends with him after accepting his silence.

 The drawings are supposed to be cute, and I guess they'd be fine if the story was any good.  The brevity of the sentences and chapters is supposed to be cute, too, but nothing really happens.

Oh look, one of them wants to be a pirate, and the other a clown, so they have a fight and then decide to play pirates and clowns together.

A lot of these types of stories teaching kids how to be good friends are told much better in other books.  The pirate/clown thing was meant as an easy laugh, but it wasn't funny. 
My daughter loved this book, probably because of the pictures and the animals involved.  I couldn't bring myself to read it twice.

Bread and Jam for Frances

 By Russell Hoban
Illustrated by Lillian Hoban

This is a classic.  Francis is a great character, and we love, love, love this particular story.  It's another one of those "teach your kid to love food" books.  Except it isn't about the parent knowing that the child is just faking their dislike of anything but chicken strips.

 In this particular story, Francis just doesn't like being adventurous with food and is satisfied with the predictability of bread and jam.  Her parents let her eat bread and jam forever and eat tasty other things in front of her until she breaks down and cries.  It's a bit much.  But it's told in a charming enough way that I don't mind reading it anyway.  And Francis is delighted in the end to go to school and have a large and varied lunch that rivals her friend Albert's.

Now, I know kids like this, and my own kids are picky some days because they don't feel like being adventurous, and I get it.  I give them opportunities to try things without forcing them, but if I know that she's being unreasonable then I will put my foot down and force her to take a bite.  She can always ask for things that aren't on the table as long as she makes some effort towards something on her plate, which ultimately ends up in her discovering that she actually likes what I've made for dinner, anyway.  We know eachother's limits and we both make compromises.

And you know what?  Treating my kids fairly and letting them decide what they like and don't like and giving them options has worked great.  Occasionally forcing or bribing them to try things has worked out fine, too.  I guess the key thing is to know your kids and to work out a tactic that they won't find frustrating.

Books about kids with bad habits don't work.  Not unless they have a direct message to the reader about how they should change their ways.  Subtlety like this goes right over my three year old's head.

Going to the Potty

 By Fred Rogers

Another win at the thrift store!

We're still working on potty training.  Don't judge us, we're up against some pretty serious hurdles.

But, even though it isn't happening any day soon, it's nice to sit back and read this book and talk to my oldest about that someday when she'll stop wearing diapers.

I love it for many reasons.  First, it's real pictures of real kids.  Which makes the potty training seem real as apposed to this imaginary thing that cartoon figures do.

I love it because it uses plain simple language and talks about the different potties and the different ways that parents might talk about bowel movements.  It's a really universal book.

I love it because it breaks the whole thing down to be a small part of a more complex developmental stage at which toddlers are learning to become children and detach themselves from their parents bit by bit and what that means to the child.  It is so interesting to my daughter for her to read a book about her that seems to know just what she's up to and just how she feels.

What in heaven's name would we do without Mr. Rogers?

(This book did not potty train my child.  But I think she's starting to turn the corner and stop being so stubborn about it.)

We're Going to the Farmers' Market

 By Stephan Page

You know me.  I'm a pretty big hippie.  And I'm all about fruits and veg and farmers' markets.  But I picked this book up primarily because the art was appealing.  It was the nicest looking book at the library that week and, believe me, I looked through each one.  I thought maybe my son would recognize the food and be mildly interested.  Plus it's in verse, and he will currently only sit still for board books with verse.

Well, the verse is not metered.  They tried and failed.  Badly.  So my son hated it because he's so damn picky.

 But the pictures are still nice.  Lots of geometric  shapes and symmetry and simple colours and patterns.  It's very pretty.

I wish there was no text.  They tried to do a version of "To Market, To Market to Buy a Fat Pig" and got lost in this sustainability message.  It's so heavy handed that it felt like they were trying to make my children feel bad for straying from the 100 mile diet.

Plus, this meal.  Like, I would eat that, sure.  And I always serve good food for my kids.  We eat food from just about any culture and keep a variety of spices in the house.  But my one year old is not eating fish and olives.  In fact, he's teething and refuses anything that isn't blended into mush and snuck into his mouth in between bites of cracker.  And furthermore, with a baby in the house, is it possible to make labour intensive meals?  No, really, I'm curious.  When do I get to stop making casseroles?  Also, I don't take kids to market under the age of 3 if I can help it because grabbing groceries and paying for them with an angry toddler in your arms is the worst experience.

Is this a board book that teaches toddlers about everything they're missing out on because they can't get it together and eat real food and behave at the store?  Or is this is a board book for 6 year olds?  I can't decide.

The Berenstain Bears Go Out for the Team

By Stan and Jan Barenstain

I love baseball.  I grew up playing little league.  I was really, really bad at it, and my mother always wondered if it was a waste of time, but I developed some skill playing it, and I know the rules really well, so I don't think it was.

The only thing I hated about it was that I always got stuck in the outfield (because I couldn't catch the ball) and they always bemoaned when I went up to bat (because I couldn't hit the ball).

The coach would say, "oh, but Left Field is so important!  Sometimes the ball rolls out there!  Keep your eyes peeled!"  Sure I wasn't athletic, but I wasn't stupid, either.

 Unlike little league, this book isn't about winning or losing, it's about the AWFUL PRESSURE that comes with playing team sports, and how you should never succumb to it and just have fun instead.

And, on the side, there's a scene where sister bear accuses brother bear of being sexist, and Mother bear qualifies his remarks in a way that makes perfect sense.

They also put Brother and Sister on the same team.  And make sure to mention that Sister is pretty awesome at baseball, too, even though she's younger.  Take that Babar, always having the boys play every sport while the one girl remains consistently and conspicuously absent!  (I love Babar so much but it is, admittedly, a colonialist, sexist mess.)

Brother Bear and Sister Bear make it to the team!  And Mama stands up and yells at the umpire over a call that she doesn't agree with!  And Sister Bear, all embarrassed, tells her mother to chill!  And that's the end.

Really.  You never find out if they win or lose.  Because, who cares about that, anyway?

Winston and George

 By John Miller

Illustrated by Giuliano Cucco

This one isn't so stellar.  The crocodile bird cries wolf.  The crocodile remains friends with him anyway.  The bird is threatened and learns a lesson.

 In case you don't learn enough about crocodiles and crocodile birds through the story, there's a page at the back with some information about them.  My kids were uninterested.

The art looks way better in these pictures than it looks in the books.  The book is super long, and I feel like the pictures really lose their focus because of the dimensions.  Plus some of the pictures are super messy.  I wasn't a fan.

This was okay library fare.  We didn't read it twice.

Cats are Cats

 By Valeri Gorbachev

This book was fantastic. I wasn't expecting much, and I was pleasantly surprised.  It's about a woman who buys a cat that turns into a tiger, but no matter how big it gets, she loves it anyway.  Very simple writing.  Cute drawings.  Comical scenes.

 Her surprised face makes no sense in half of these pictures.  She's been living with the tiger for how long and suddenly she's surprised that he's huge?  I don't get it.

They decide to get a pet fish in the end that turns out to not be a fish.  And of course, they keep it and love it anyway.

This is a great basic message for children told in a simple but comical way.  It's especially great because it isn't condescending in the least.

Scuffy the Tugboat

Written by Gertrude Crampton
Illustrated by Tibor Gergely

Little Golden Books were originally published to promote literacy among poor people.  Which is commendable.  But it wasn't just the printing and binding that they spared expense on.

The writing is heavy handed.  The moral of the story is to stay were you belong.  Probably because it's written for poor people.

Scuffy dreams of sailing out beyond into the wide ocean.  But the wide ocean is too much for him!

Luckily he is saved and confined to his little bathtub for the rest of his life.

The art is dreadful, too.  The artist had a terrible time with faces.  The only redeemable thing about this book is that it's slightly better than Tootle.

Friday Post - Chutes and Ladders

 Retroland has a pretty good post about this game.

This is a pre-2000's version.  Ebay says it's from 1999, which makes sense, I guess, looking at that boy with the burgundy vest.  That's a pretty dated style.

But, as you can see, it's totally PC by this point, at least.

It was really interesting to read the article on Retroland and discover that this has always been a game about morality. I've never had a copy in my house growing up, so I never played a version like this. They got a bit carried away here, too.  Just look at the arbitrary rewards.

On square 9 we have a boy who mows the lawn and gets to see sad animals at the circus.  That cat on 28 features a fair bit, sometimes dealing out punishment, sometimes rewarding with cuddles.  Higher up at 51, a girl sweeps the floor and gets movie tickets.  At 71, a boy returns a damsel's purse and she buys him ice cream.

It's all pretty ridiculous, and I can't imagine that there was ever a good edition of this crummy game.  The spinner is supposed to be easier than dice, but my daughter can throw dice now and can still barely play this game because counting to 100 is not very fun for her and the pictures are too distracting.  If the game wasn't so long and these weird stories weren't everywhere, maybe we'd get through more than half of it.  The best part is, none of these moral lessons make a dent on her anyway.  She's convinced of her own moral superiority and is quick to judge the kids on the board.  It's kind of hilarious.

My Cousin Momo

 By Zachariah Ohora

I picked this book up because "No Fits Nilson" wasn't too bad, because I like the art style, and because the cover looked pretty great.

Yeah, I judged a book by its cover.  I want to like this book because I like the art.  And I feel like I'm crazy to hate on it so much, because the internet loves it.

 Here's Momo crying after his cousins bully him for being different.  I was really hoping, from the cover, that he'd be the cool cousin. He looks SO COOL.  But no.  Being fat and wearing sweatbands makes you a huge loser.

What really gets my goat is that the main characters are angry and annoyed with Momo for being weird or different.  We accept that kind of behaviour as normal with kids.  We expect it of kids.  I remember being a weird kid.  I wasn't that weird, but every once in a while I'd deviate from a teacher's instructions and do something creative and some kids were so ANGRY about it.  I feel like this book normalizes that kind of behaviour, while being so lazy in characterizing the 'different' and 'weird' Momo as just some fat nerd.

And while this book is obviously geared at kids who already behave poorly towards others, it is so condescending.  Oh, right, they're going to suddenly discover by the last page that their cousin is cool and start dressing like him?  No.  They won't.  They're going to feel like they can never really accept him without being cast out by the rest of their peer group and at best they'll maintain an awkward relationship with him up until adulthood when maybe they'll just pretend none of the bullying happened.

There's a place between disliking someone and emulating them.  It's called acceptance.  This book completely misses the point.

It is, however, highly marketable.

Funny Face

 By Anna Walker

This is a great book about facial expressions.  I really could have used this with my daughter when she was a baby.

My son actually likes this book a lot.  I say actually, because he isn't that keen on books.  He's only just a year old and kind of a clumsy maniac.  He has no interest in sitting still and reading.

But this book is simple and easy to follow.

 I change the text a bit so that I'm only saying the few words that he seems to know.  There's one character who has a "bunny face".  I feel like it's an inside joke or something.  It doesn't make sense, and even my daughter doesn't get the joke.  She's all, "That's not a face" and then the whole thing gets derailed into an argument.

There are a few too many pages of them dancing that are very similar.  We skip those sometimes, too.

But, overall, it's a very cute book.  I even like the pictures.

No Fits, Nilson!

  By Zachariah OHora

I picked this one out for the art, which is pretty twee, I guess.  Hipster, almost.  But that word has basically lost all meaning.

I also got it out because it's about how you shouldn't have fits.

 My daughter has fits, like most 3 year olds.  But when she sees someone else having a fit, she's pretty quick to jump in with the same advice that I give her.  Things like, "count to 10" or "Use your words", or "No screaming otherwise you go in your crib."

She loves to hear about other people getting time outs for having fits, because then she can be all holier-than-thou about it.  She doesn't really reflect on the similarities shared by herself and the characters.

This was the weakest page.  Choco-banana twist.  Gag me.  My daughter didn't even care about this page.  This is like the 'when life hands you lemons' part of the book.  No toddler is going to have an 'a-ha' moment here.  It just comes across as an unimportant side-note.


Also, what's with Nilson and all of the watches on his arms?  He totally ripped that look off of Bananas Gorilla.